What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
