Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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