you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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