She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
