i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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