I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
