Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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