He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
