Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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