Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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