we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
