if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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