What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
