OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
