I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
