Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
