I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
