After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
