so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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