Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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