She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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