i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
