You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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