It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
