if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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