omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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