What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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