YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
