Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
