happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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