I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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