Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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