mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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