Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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