I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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