sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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