His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
