Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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