that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
