do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
