some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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