Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
