My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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