Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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