The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
