Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
