And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
