Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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