you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
this just has baby written all over it
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
