Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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