And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
